


lend the world your light

by aletterinthenameofsanity



Series: hold my hand (i can hear the ghost calling) [17]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Character Study, Developing Relationship, Disabled Character, Disabled Character of Color, Flying, Gay Male Character, Kissing, M/M, Marriage, Marriage Proposal, Metaphors, POV Sam Wilson, Pre-Series, Romance, Sam Wilson is a Gift, rare pair hell, still actively ignoring infinity war and civil war with a passion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-14
Updated: 2019-01-14
Packaged: 2019-10-09 23:58:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17415032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aletterinthenameofsanity/pseuds/aletterinthenameofsanity
Summary: Flying can be an escape, can give a way to get out of bad scenarios. It allows Sam to forget about his missing leg, about the way he’s nothing more than human. He has no superpowers, has no superstrength or webs or god-like powers. He has nothing save a pair of wings and some armor, a small robotic bird and his own training.It allows him not to focus on the way a helicopter fell, the way metal screeched against metal, the way an explosion tore apart Sam’s best friend.When Sam is flying, the world disappears. There is only him, with a leg that works, with wings that won’t let him fall.-With the Falcon program, Tony has helped Sam find a new way to survive, to help others and escape his own demons.Not only does he have wings, but he has Tony himself. Being in love with Tony feels flying, the world at his feet and the sky kissing his skin. There is nothing that could stop him, nothing that could bring him back down to earth.





	lend the world your light

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lionfire42](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lionfire42/gifts).



> Title is from "Shine" by Shane Koyczan.

Sam Wilson knows what it’s like to fly.

Rhodey, Tony, even Peter with his webs- they can all fly too, technically, but they don’t have wings. They don’t know the feeling of having wings pulling against their shoulder blades, the way that the wings extend over their heads, the rush of the wind against their jaws and through their feathers.

They don't know what it's like to perch on the edge of the world, half of their body exposed to the elements, watching the clear night sky and wondering how long it will take to fall.

-

Sam meets Tony Stark months into his use of the Falcon wings.

Sam had been chosen for the project for a number of reasons- his interest in physics, his leadership on the field, his record on the battlefield, his ability to be flexible and react well to whatever happens. And he's good at what he does, making the Falcon project his own within a few weeks. He trains the men, figures out the best ways to use the wings, and improves the wings themselves. He's actually even made a number of tweaks to the wings by the time he meets Tony for the first time.

Tony Stark saunters onto the field as Sam is coasting in from a test of his newest upgrades. "I want to see all the new upgrades the famous Lt. Wilson's made," Tony says, all bravado and Stark confidence, and Sam looks him up and down.

"You're going to either have to provide proper identification- DNA test preferred- or design something on the spot in order to provide a decent enough reason to allow you into the experiment room for the bionic equipment," Sam instructs.

Tony grins and says, "I think you'd make a great superhero."

Sam raises a cool eyebrow at that but doesn't disagree.

-

Sam goes flying with Tony, him with his wings, Tony in his suit, a few weeks after they've met. And it's pretty glorious. The night sky is cool around them, the smallest of breezes making its way through Sam’s armor and to his skin, and Sam forgets about the rest of the world.

Sometimes Sam forgets that his leg is fake. When he’s running, flying, fighting- the strangeness goes away and the bionic leg functions just as well as his natural one did before it was blown off in that helicopter crash. It's incredibly easy to forget that he was not born with this leg, that it is metal and other inorganic materials.

But afterwards, when he's in his normal life, when he's not focused on something else, he remembers. He always ends up noticing it in the things that are absent- the aches that should be in his knees, the cramps that aren’t in his feet after a long run. When he flies or trains with Tony, he always ends up recognizing that there is a past of himself that is different, that is gone, that is new.

-

The first time he and Tony kiss, it's nothing magical. After all, Sam has lived more than thirty years- he's had his fair share of relationships in his time- and he's kissed plenty of men. A single kiss doesn't tell him much about how a relationship will go. He's had shitty kisses with good men, good kisses with bad men.

But the more he kisses Tony, the more he learns from the way their lips touch. Tony's kisses tell Sam of the ways Tony can be gentle, of the ways he can be passionate, of the ways he can listen and respond. 

-

With the Falcon program, Tony has helped Sam find a new way to survive, to help others and escape his own demons.

Not only does he have wings, but he has Tony himself. Being in love with Tony feels flying, the world at his feet and the sky kissing his skin. There is nothing that could stop him, nothing that could bring him back down to earth.

-

Sam is the one to propose. He has this big plan, a big speech and a fancy dinner planned, but in the end it’s just them, in Tony’s penthouse, in the middle of dinner. They're sitting at the kitchen counter, Sam on one side and Tony on the other, and Tony says something smart (nothing strange- Tony says smart things constantly, he’s fucking brilliant) as he lifts a bite of Turkish food to his mouth, and Sam realizes that this- this is them. He doesn’t have to make some fancy plan. He doesn’t need fancy dinner, the perfect date, a big speech- he just needs Tony, with his brilliant brain and warm smile and expressionate hands.

“Hey, Tony,” Sam says, and Tony pauses in his words, looking Sam straight in the eye with a smile on his lips. Sam knows that fond smile well, has seen it directed at himself plenty of times before. And he knows that Tony feels the same way that he does, loves Sam like he does Tony. “Will you marry me?”

Tony’s eyes widen and his fork falls a bit in his suddenly limp hand. “What?” he asks, shock evident.

“I love you, Tones,” Sam says simply, “And I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I know we've only been dating for a year and some change, but you're the best man I've ever met and I love you.”

“Are you sure?” Tony asks, voice betraying a fragility not often associated with Iron Man but that Sam knows Tony Stark carries.

Sam pulls the ring box out of the pocket of his leather jacket, where he's been keeping it for the past few weeks (because he knows that Tony would never even accidentally go through his jacket 'cause Tony respects his things and his privacy), and opens it before sliding it across the counter to Tony.

"Damn," Tony says, looking at the platinum band Sam had found at a local jewelry shop after asking JARVIS for Tony's ring size. It's a simple band with only one distinguishing mark- a thin red and gold stripe running across the middle of the ring. "You're serious."

"I'd love to marry you, if you want to," Sam says. "I want to spend the rest of my life by your side, living with you and flying with you and loving you."

"Yes," Tony says, voice matter-of-fact but still a little shaky. "Yes, I want to marry you, you beautiful man."

Sam smiles, leans across the table, and helps slip the ring on Tony's finger. Tony stares at it for just a moment before heading around the counter and pulling Sam into a kiss.

- 

Flying can be an escape, can give a way to get out of bad scenarios. It allows Sam to forget about his missing leg, about the way he’s nothing more than human. He has no superpowers, has no superstrength or webs or god-like powers. He has nothing save a pair of wings and some armor, a small robotic bird and his own training.

It allows him not to focus on the way a helicopter fell, the way metal screeched against metal, the way an explosion tore apart Sam’s best friend.

When Sam is flying, the world disappears. There is only him, with a leg that works, with wings that won’t let him fall.

-

The night they get married, Sam gives Tony his old dogtags, but they’re not just Sam’s- they’re also Riley’s, the ones he's carried since the very beginning, since the day Riley died in a desert and Sam lost his leg.

“I’ll guard them with my life,” Tony says, conviction clear in his voice, and Sam knows that this is a vow Tony will keep as seriously as he does his marriage vows.

“You don't need to do that,” Sam says, placing his hand over Tony’s heart where the dogtags hang at the end of the necklace. Just a few months ago, that skin was where an arc reactor stood, poisoning the flesh around Tony’s heart. Just a few months ago, Tony nearly died because of the heart inside of his chest. Now, though, the dogtags sit over his heart, a physical representation of the love between them. “These are a show of my trust, just like our marriage rings. Your life will always be more important to me than any symbol, though.”

Tony leans forward, smile on his lips, and kisses Sam.

-

Sam goes flying a week before he's set to head out on his final tour, and he's alone in the sky. He spends an hour above the lights of New York city, staring at the city he grew up and took up the helm of Falcon to protect.

Years ago, he became a soldier to protect his country, but most specifically of all to protect the city he grew up in- his home. He grew up just a few burroughs away, down in Harlem in an apartment with his sister and brother and mom. 

Right now, Tony is the Defender of New York. But Sam knows he has projects he's working on, plans around the world that he's going to move onto soon.

And whenever Tony moves on to international fights, to superhero projects elsewhere, Sam is going to stay here and protect this city. He'll be fine stepping down from active duty overseas to do this, to become the defender New York needs.

Sam lands back on the roof of Stark Tower, and his skin is still a bit chilled from the night air. He strips off his wings and his outer armor, handing them off to one of Tony's robot children with a smile and a thank you, then makes a quick change in his room. Then he takes the elevator down to Tony's lab, where he leans against the doorjamb in his sweats and watches for a few moments as Tony moves around the lab, bouncing from project to project with a thought process faster than most humans could ever dream of reaching.

"Need any help?" Sam asks after a few minutes of just watching, and Tony turns to him. Sam can see the slight dark circles under his eyes, the way his hair is mussed in a way that means he's probably been dragging his fingers through it. Sam makes a mental note to make sure JARVIS has a meal/sleep notification made for Tony while Sam's gone, since Sam can't nicely remind Tony to actually take care of himself while he's gone.

"Of course I do," Tony says, gesturing to the tables of projects around him, and Sam steps forward into the lab. He heads for the table that isn't his, per se, but holds most of the Falcon project tech as well as a few small projects Sam has been working on for Stark Industries' is prosthetic division. 

A half hour passes without words, just a playlist that's a mix of late 90s hip hop, 50s swing, and Broadway showtunes playing in the background as the two of them work. It's a comfortable kind of silence, filled with productivity. 

Then Tony stops in the middle of his current project to look up at Sam, who's in the middle of tinkering on some upgrades to Redwing at the table to the left of Tony.

"I love you, flyboy," Tony says, eyes live wires and smile fond.

"I love you too, Tones," Sam says.


End file.
